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The Friendzone…

My first by line! Can’t wait to hear what you think 🙂
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Why we’d rather not proceed beyond the friendship zone

Posted by Olive Nakiyemba

on Saturday, December 15 2012 at 00:00

So, Boy and Girl are wonderful friends. They share stories, go on “innocent” dates. Everything is peachy. Then Boy decides to mess everything up by falling for Girl. Girl has to explain why she is on the different page from Boy, sometimes it is even a
different chapter or book altogether. Then you start having awkward moments.

Speaking for me (and hopefully a few other women), I’m going to try shade some light as to why a couple of men have been “lucky” (tongue in cheek) and others… well, they are my friends. I have found some really good friends in some men.

I may seem oblivious to their intentions (for some of them) but trust me, a girl (in most cases) knows. A lot of thought is put into consideration on a girl’s part to take a good friendship to another level. A lot is at stake, most of the time the cons out-weigh the
pros. Think about it, how many “wonderful” exes do you have, ones that you still go out to “innocent” dates with? A girl will not ruin a good friendship for a sexual relationship. For a number of reasons.
Maybe she is in a relationship, or she just got out of one and the guy in question is too nice a guy to be a rebound guy (rebound guys are usually very random, not your type, very forgettable. Once you heal, you want to hit your head wondering what the beep you were thinking, wishing you could “unshag” them…
You want to keep them a secret and hope none of your friends EVER finds out). Sometimes the guy in question is in a relationship or married, complete with a side-dish/mistress respectively. The girl is left wondering, what could she possibly offer that is any different from what he is already getting? Awkward situations I’m telling you… Other times, the guy is a wonderful friend but
definitely not boyfriend material. Other cases, the guy is super old. Very respectable, a father figure, has children as old, sometimes older, than the girl he’s confessing his feelings to. I know that the friend zone sucks. If it helps, at least you are in the someone’s life.

I once confessed to a guy who told me, “Come on, you know me. I wouldn’t be a great boyfriend to you, you deserve so much better…” It stung, but at least we still talk and joke about it.
fullwoman@ug.nationmedia.com

Olive Nakiyemba
I am just a simple girl with just the right dose of princess syndrome, a mad passion for the outdoors, travel, reading, writing and vintage BMW.
http://www.oleebranch.com

2 thoughts on “The Friendzone…

  1. Tough cookie, I like the frankness in your writing, really refreshing.
    learnt a few things from your perspective on the subject. So I’ll do you and highlight a man’s end of the joint, alittle…

    ….Everything is peachy…. (No it aint, a brother is dying pliz note…)

    Then Boy decides to mess everything up by falling for Girl…. (The poor guy landed or crushed dont know which, long before this point…)

    Maybe she is in a relationship, or she just got out of one and the guy in question is too nice a guy to be a rebound guy.. rebound guys are usually very random, not your type, very forgettable…. (Truth be told I didnt know this, remind me to be an ass from the word go next time Im in that neck of the woods.)

    I know that the friend zone sucks. If it helps, at least you are in someone’s life… (A sister from another mother.. tough bit to swallow I’ll tell you.)

    Ironically, the best couples I know were friends first.. I think there is something here im not seeing, wonder how they did it… :-/

    1. Julius… Thank you so much for the kind words. And for the male persepective. It’s true, the best couples were once friends. You realise, they might have been friends for the longest time and in due course, the feelings are gradual and in most cases mutual. The guys that get friend zoned are the ones that you just met and just wanna get into it already…

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