I am going to be in so much trouble when a close male friend reads this! I am hoping and praying it’ll be worth it after I get to hear what you all think of this…

Jack and I were having a cup of coffee at a one of the city’s popular spots discussing life, swapping village stories. After the coffee, he pulled out his wallet to pay for his copy of Big Dreams, a book I co-authored with another close friend of mine, Robert. Suddenly, he got a little uncomfortable being seen giving a girl money in public, he was like, “People are going to think…”

“You are giving me ‘transport’?” I finished his statement. He was like, “Well, you know…” I threw back my head and laughed heartily till the other patrons started staring. He told me about his campus days when he used give a lady three thousand shillings for “transport”. I couldn’t help asking, why three thousand and not four or five thousand?

He told me about the science behind the three thousand. Well, those days, before transport fares became vulgar, two thousand shillings would be enough to take a girl from Ntinda to Mitchell Hall and back to Ntinda. The one thousand was meant to cater for the phone call at the roadside booth, assuming the girl didn’t have a cell phone, which was the case in the (I am not very sure when Jack was at Mitchell), let’s just settle with, “those days”

His argument was, with the three thousand; the girl wouldn’t feel like she had just been paid for a good time. However, not giving her “transport” would feel like she paid for it. So, to avoid conflict, the 3k transport theory came to life.

Then he asked, “How is it these days? How do the lads deal with the transport issue?”  There was a time I got 125k for transport… Oh well, that’s a story for another day 😉


Taxi? Boda?

38 Thoughts to “The 3k transport issue…”

  1. Jasper

    125k for transport? Hmmmm! Why did he not take a taxi with her and give the conductor 10k and tell him to return the change to the lady? Always worked!

    1. hmmm interesting. This is out of experience, right?

  2. Dennis Asiimwe

    Hehehe…I delved into this once…icky ground…

  3. Dennis Asiimwe

    It’s probably best looked at from the question of perspectives…and of course, expectations…and since those vary so much, well…

    1. Dennis, I’d love to hear YOUR perspective…

  4. Brandii N Juice

    Ru certain that was for “transport”??

    1. 🙂 What do you think Brandii?

  5. James Onen

    hahahaha… i’ve also given ‘transport’ before

    1. ahahaha oh yeah? How much? What was going through your mind when you were handing her the “transport”?

  6. mehn!… since it would be fun shared between two parties, I say we’d split da cost into two walayi.. shya.. I’d give her 1-5 and she foots da other half too.. mbu 3K.. wapi!

    1. Son Of a Gun!
      That’s all I’m saying 🙂

  7. Emma

    3k!!! these days its 10k

    1. hehehehe OK. Emma, I like your “3k!!!”
      What goes through your when he gives you that ‘transport”?

  8. Julz

    Hmmm 124k?ok thats for another comment box.Men fear making transactions in public especially if its to a woman in whose company one is being seen.most of it stems from the fear of thinking one is socilating for “sexual favours ” lol! i persoally always move with enough money to either 1) pay the bill 2) go dutch 3) extra money incase i have to make that “quick gateway”

    1. Julz, very smart move… About the 125K, like I said- another day, another time. You know, I hadn’t thought about that fear!
      Imagine the days when we’ll be looked at as business partners, aleast during the day 🙂

  9. Tash

    Conventional guy “wisdom” dictates that you give just enough to get her to where she is going but there a lot of flaws in that kind of thinking.
    First,let me state that the issue of giving any lass money minutes before she leaves a lad’s abode is a very grey area and so it will be futile to look for a straight-jacketed answer.Personally I believe the whole situation has a really sleazy connotation to it since it almost looks like you are paying for a service rendered to you..,So I suggest better less demeaning ways to do this.Drop her at her place if you have a car,call a cab guy if you don’t,if you are a student,a bajaj can work..,if not stay away from women till you have some money*
    If it is a one-night stand as is usually the case..,its best to slip whatever money you can find,hoping she didn’t rob you,into her hand while no one is looking and run to church immediately after.
    I don’t think there is an exact figure for this “transport” so it comes down to the relationship between the lad and the lass.

    1. Hahahaha Tash, this is the most hillarious comment ever! I cannot stop laughing at the image of you dashing off to the nearest Church!
      Thank you so much for the good laugh 😀

  10. Kataita Nayebare Hope

    where were you going?
    S.A, Kenya, Mutungo oba YRF.
    But they shl pay our transport. whether 3k or less they shld pay.

  11. Victor

    Hahahahahaaaaaa! “Guiiiiiiilty” is the voice that’s been screaming at me as I read your excerpt. However, over the years of field work & innovation,I now slide an envelope at the table..leaving the receiver & on-lookers in suspense.Fancy that!

    1. ahahahaha Victor, you are just a show- off. hehehe fancy that indeed 🙂

  12. Steve

    Hmmm,……interesting! do you mean when these girls have been paying me (for private English lessons) in the library or cafe or such places…..someone was
    thinking they were paying me for other duties……would anyone think that?? I personally dont fear giving anyone money in public, unless its 125k!!…..probably I’m just innocent….get all those things free!! 🙂

    Naye Ms.Branch, i cant wait to read about this 125k story!! bring it on!!

    1. Wow, Steve! You’ve been paid in public? You are bold! hehehe
      It’s not that people think like that ALL the time, I guess it varies from society to society. However, I’d recommend you go the “Victor” way, let them slide the envelope across the table 😀
      About the 125k story, will, time will surely tell 😉

  13. HighRoller Olyv Telma

    heheehe….125k,… my ! is on the ..5k!!! couldnt the guy round it up? sure he did study things like roundup to the nearest figure….. hehheeehe ….
    Tell the dude to send me mail, i will answer to how the lads deal with the transport isssues these days. Has he been to Nakawa? Is he familiar with the place called THE COIN???….and the likes simanyi Japanesse new and used cars in Nakawa ??

    1. Hahahaha Telma, get your rich behind out of here! Mbu THE COIN!

  14. Hehehe! I believe in driving them back, which most certainly costs more than the 3k of fuel, but that’s okay. Back in the day I had a very frustrating girl who would wait for pillow talk to ask for the most exorbitant demands. Phones, laptops, etc.. Like literally immediately ‘after’! Before clothes have even been put on…

    1. ahahahaha Enygma and his escapades! No time to even catch your breathe, huh?!

  15. Its all in the name really, u call it transport, I call it facilitation…

  16. Aha! I love the ‘3k for Transport theory’, it was premised on pretty serious assumptions!

  17. Omuntu

    “THOSE DAYS”!!!!!!!!
    i doubt twas those days, it must have been just yesterday.
    iv actuaaly seen those who even give -3k.
    wat the hell is wrong with a ka full bundle of atleast 5k?
    that dude must have had other intentions.
    One who is paying for a book you authored wouldn’t mind paying for it, even in public……or possibly, he’s the kind who gives 3k that’s why he din’t want to e seen “giving out ” more

    1. ahahaha m, I don’t know what you talking about 😀

  18. Bobby Spliff

    “3k transport theory” Hilarious!!! Naye kankomewo.. hehehe

  19. Julius Kabogorwa

    Short of her branding the las ‘mukono gum’, 3k today will get her away from the crime scene, only barely considering the distance from town to some pads I do know.
    But assuming the lady came to the las’s pad in her own ride as sometimes is the case, how would one sale our 3k philosophy?
    In my experience, its of the utmost importance to put yo back into it (literally), then cook the chikidi a breakfast that she wont soon forget and pray to God that when you hand her the 3k, she takes it as a joke from one night stander to another…

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