Words cannot truly express how your devastating sudden departure has shaken UOT. I feel so terrible for having not made an effort to get to know you.
We met a couple of times; first at a 40-40 event, girl you were like the face of the 40 – 40 events, always creating massive FOMO and yet, I only attended a handful. The last time we met was at the Laba! Arts Festival last year. Every time we met, you always said kind things to me and honest to God, I wish, I wish I could roll back the hands of time so I could say something, anything instead of standing there and smile like a stupid idiot!
Perhaps that’s why I subconsciously attended last evening’s Laba! Arts Festival instead of your vigil hoping that all this #RIPJuliMuffn all over social media is just a hoax and that I will bump into you again and maybe talk at length this time. You were that special, you touched people by just your presence. Your tweets were so hilarious Jules, I don’t know how we’re going to move past this. Surely, what is life? I also just discovered that your Facebook name had “Ha ha” like you were always in for a laugh. SIGH. I wish I had had a chance to get to know you Juli.
I am so sorry for being such a weakling and a coward for not bidding you a proper farewell. You know this, everyone is so devastated. It seems like everyone was there with you but me. Because I am the worst person ever. I don’t know how to deal with death. The other day my friend Allan, you know @ssojo81- lost his mom and I didn’t know what to do or say to make him feel better except cry myself to sleep for his loss. So I just stayed away. I still feel so horrible.
I’ve been thinking and if you can, please tell God to take me before he takes any of my loved ones and friends. I don’t think I could ever handle it. Also – I want to be cremated, ask him to avail me with the funds so I can make payments in advance. I hope that my friends can take my ashes with them for one last adventure and eventually dump them in a bonfire, who knows – I just might fly out of it like a Phoenix so I can give this life thing another go because quite frankly, I am not ready and I know for sure you weren’t. I doubt if anyone is ever ready. God just has His plans.
I pray that your friends and family find strength and comfort in knowing that you’re in a good place; laughing and making it real.
You’re going to be missed Julie, pass my love to my Daddy and everyone else.
Rest easy Muffn,